Yonked :: Diary of a New Home

The Ordeal is Over (And Now the Adventure Begins!)

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:21:00 +0000

I am happy to report that there is a new star in the Gertsacov Circus!

Aaron Kyle Gertsacov was born at 7:08 pm on Tuesday 9/2/08

Tuesday's child, full of grace

And here's the OTHER famous things that happened on Sept. 2.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_2

Most notably, it's a German national Holiday! Sedantag!

He was (as Shakespeare says) Untimely ripped from his mother's womb-- although I would like to point out that the ripping was more than timely, as a delay may have been very poorly timed for everybody involved.)

Here's the scoop:

At 4 am on 9/2 S went into pretty serious labor. After about 4-5 hours of searing pain at 11 minute and shorter intervals, and timing contractions, We called our doctor, who said don't go into the hospital, come into the office. As we prepared to do that, (shower, leg-shaving, etc) the contractions got more serious-- we decided to go directly to the hospital.

Do not pass GO.

Do not collect $200.

We'd actually been there the night before, thinking we were ready, but they sent us home. It was Quiet there-- when we asked them if it was always this quiet at night, they asked us not to use the Q word.

S. was not ready, and they sent us home.

This time not Q at all. We waited about 90 minutes in the waiting room (of 6 minute contractions) before we got a bed in triage, and then in triage for awhile before we got admitted. (although we already had a 7 pm induction appointment)

At around 6:30, S was about 6-7 centimeters dilated, and it looked like we were going to be able to have a vaginal childbirth. They gave her the epidural, but that made the baby's heartbeat crash-- and they didn't like the way the baby's heartbeat was recovering after every contraction-- so they converted to a C section.

We didn't know it was going to happen, but there were suddenly about 50 doctors in our room checking stuff, (probably about 6, but they just popped up suddenly, and everybody started to go to work at once, prodding S, and trying to figure out what's going on.

At 6:45 that decision was made-- she got put in an operating room, I got dressed in greens that BARELY fit, and went in.

They tell you not to look over the curtain and I didn't.

I sat with S who was very brave and held her hand-- suddenly we heard a crying, and somebody said "It's a boy!"

And then it was congratulations all around. I went over to watch them prep and clean the baby and take lots of photos, and watch S as they sewed her up-- it took forever for them to finish.

The baby was incredibly cute and beautiful (I guess I'm as sappy as any non-sappy person can be) and S was simply glowing. I was elated!

I did look over from where the baby was, and didn't see S's guts lined up on a table, but did see a very large steel bucket full of blood. Yikes!

Everybody is doing great, baby and mom. And the Dad is just along for the ride.

Although clown routines about changing poop-filled diapers can not be far behind.

Aaron Kyle Gertsacov
6lbs 11 oz.
19.25 inches
blonde hair
blue eyes.

As Stan Lee would say,
Excelsior! (which is Latin for onward and upward, and forward, and used to appear at the end of every Marvel comic letter section. What can I say, I'm a comic book geek guy. And probably, my son will be one too.

Oh my god, I have a son!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet...

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:00:00 +0000

People ask us these questions (usually in this order)

Do you know what you are having?
Have you selected names?
What are they?
Why won't you tell me the names?

(and then they generally proceed to suggest their own names (sometimes, literally, their own name)

After that, the next question is-- will you circumcise if it's a boy?
In the hospital?

Here are the answers (mostly in order)
NO.
MOSTLY.
NOT TELLING.
BECAUSE.
WE'RE JEWISH.
AT HOME.

And in case you were wondering, here are a list of 52 names we have 98% ruled out:

AGAMEMNON ARIADNE
BRADFORD BERNICE
CUTHBERT CARPATHIA
DARIO (sadly) DEMETER
EGBERT ERNESTINA
FRANCESCO FLAMINIA
GERARD GRETEL
HUBERT HEATHER
INDIGO INDIA
JEEVES JERMAINE
KUNTA KINTE KRIMEFIGHTER
LAVAUGHN LAVENDER
MARIO MOON UNIT
NIXON NINE
OTTO (sadly) OCTAVIA
PRINCE (or any rep. symbols) PLATYPUS
QUENTIN QUERRELLE
RAYMUNDO RAVINIA
SATCHEL SHANEEKWAH
TRAVERS TILDA
URANUS URETHRA
VINCENZO VANEESHA
WALKER WILHELMINA
XERXES XENA
YOUNG YELLOW
ZEBADIAH ZEE

Many other names are also not on the table, but I leave it for your overactive imaginations to conjure.
And the middle names that we have ruled out... well, it just boggles the mind!

If we must continue to wait for the baby, we might have to scrap our names entirely and just go with Godot.

The unwanted visitor, or something stinks in the state of Yonkers

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 12:02:00 +0000

Thursday was a harrowing day for me-- less so for Stephanie, so the answer is no, we did not have a wanted visitor arrive on Thursday. She is still pregnant (at least as of Saturday morning) Instead this is a story of how we had an unwanted visitor.

This is a long story, so get settled now-- get a drink, sit in your comfortable chair, and get ready to read.

Let me preface this by saying that we bought the house in part because of our garage. It's a gigantic 700 square foot structure with 3 wooden sliding barn doors that are approximately 7 ft long by 12 feet tall. One of the doors has a little utility door through which you walk, and it's just a cool old building.

When we were looking at the house and we looked at the garage for the first time, I was like "Wow! We'll take it!" I imagined it as a really cool clown studio that served the same function as the loft that I was leaving-- a repository for my stuff, a place to rehearse, and a "place of my own"-- ie, a private den in which I would (I thought) retreat to when I needed some private time. Having lived by myself for most of my life, I thought I would need that, and I had grandiose plans for how to achieve that place. My loft was 1200 sq. ft, my studio would be 700, and I'd still have the house to live in. Perfect!

Well, here we are, 3 years later, and the garage is still packed to the gills with all the stuff that won't fit into the house. (IN that sense, it represents perfectly my loft, which, truth be told, was always two parts store-house to one part tiny theatre.) I include in this stuff 65 boxes of books, my mom's two chairs that got displaced when we bought our couch, half of a packing crate from India that I've stood upright to hold more stuff, my circus ring, my clown props, a bicycle that I haven't ridden in 3 years, but that I have had since I was 14, and lots of other stuff. Not to mention a door from India that my brother bought that he intends to turn into a table, 3 office chairs that my other brother salvaged from his old studio, 3 boxes full of glassware, silverware, and plates that are owned by our synagogue, a whole mess of wood from our renovation, and about a million shelves ready to be put together (metro shelves-- thank you Nancy and Steven!) and even more stuff.

But this isn't an inventory of my garage (impossible!), this is a tale of my harrowing day.

I was in the garage on Thursday putting some stuff away, and I thought I heard a noise. At first I thought it was on top of the roof (our roof is flat, and apples drop on our roof. But it seemed a little closer than the roof. I stopped stock still for a moment, heard a rustling, looked up, and saw a black and white animal slowly walking away from me.

Hey, I have a riddle for you: So, what's black and white and is apparently living in my garage?

A skunk!

I'd seen skunks around the house in the last year or so (I came back last high holidays to see a skunk near our porch and nearly freaked out) And of course, there was the skunk incident of about 3 weeks ago, when I saw a plastic bag in the road, I went to go pick it up, and it turned out to have a dead skunk in it. But I never for a moment thought that they were living in my precious garage! It was a shock to the system.

At the moment of spotting, I had a typical clown moment: I did what is called a bunny hop (a yell and a take to the skunk, a take to the audience, and then I beat a hasty retreat into the house. I called the Yonkers Police non-emergency number (I really should put it on speed-dial) and called them-- meantime I opened up the garage to see if I could convince the skunk to leave.

The police came about an hour later, only to tell me that I needed to hire a pest control company-- apparently Yonkers, thriving metropolis that it is, does not have an animal control department. I called about 6 companies, and finally found one on the phone (one guy was too far north, another company in White Plains doesn't come down to Yonkers) AAA Pest Control, based in NJ, has some guys who come to Yonkers. For a huge sum of money ($200!) they lay a trap for the animal, and will come and take it away. The trap is a metal humane trap with a slide that releases the door when a pressure plate is stepped on. They take the animal into the woods and release him.
If they don't find a skunk, no refund.

Meanwhile my neighbor and I are trying to figure out how the skunk came in, and we are pretty sure that it slid under one of the garage doors. There is a little space under one of them. And we are looking in the garage to see if we can see the skunk before the pest control guys get here. No dice.

The pest control guys arrive, they lay the trap, I pay them, and start wondering if I imagined it-- perhaps it was just a figment of my overactive imagination. I go into the garage several times to look, including once with the laser pointer that we use for the cat. No dice.

I check the trap several times during the day. Nothing.

Meanwhile I start reading all about skunks and skunk traps-- most of the books say to use canned cat food or herring. They used marshmallows to bait it. Skunks aren't good climbers, eat just about everything, have thick hides and so often eat bees and beehives, since they don't feel the bee-sting, and can spray 7-10 times accurately to the distance of 15 feet, and I am thinking, "Oh No!" Skunks are also nocturnal, and they don't spray unless provoked

Early the next morning I check the trap, warily peeking around the inside of the door-- Omigod-- there's something in the trap! It's black and white and got beady eyes-- I'm pretty sure it's a skunk!

I call the pest control guys, and they come around 9:30 or so and take the skunk away. There was a big fear that the skunk would spray when they came to get him, thus rendering my garage skunked. They wrap the cage with plastic wrap, and amazingly, the skunk did not spray. They took him away to a state park where they will let him out far from here. (Skunks have a general radius of about 2 miles, but can go up to 5 in hard times)

I fixed the hole where I thought they were coming in (which is a whole 'nother maladjusted tale) and I was feeling a whole lot better, but then I had an awful thought-- what if there are more skunks?

The hole fixed, it'd be impossible for the animal to escape!

Looking through the internet, I got a solution- I laid down some talc powder near where the hole was-- to see if something tried to get out.

This morning I looked, and the powder was unperturbed-- but that just means that nothing went over there.

But what if it had been perturbed? What then? I am thinking about buying a skunk trap-- but if it fills up, who am I going to get to go inside and take it someplace far away?

I have the feeling that I will be in the garage looking over my shoulder for a long time to come. I think the time has come to clean out the garage and get rid of a lot of the stuff where a skunk (or other animal) may be hiding.

The Bacon Krispy Kreme Burger- Or a Delicious Heart Attack on a Plate

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 23:26:00 +0000

Bacon Krispy Kreme burger
Originally uploaded by satanslaundromat

A friend of mine posted about these-- and apparently Google had them recently in their NY cafeteria. (I found this photograph on Flickr)

It's got everything that a person could want -- except for the death by fat-cell asphyxiation.

Still it sounds delicious....

My brother works at Google, and I've eaten there, but didn't see this on the menu.

These are the cakes we DON'T want

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:03:00 +0000

Found a hilarious blog about when professionally designed cakes go wrong

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Here are some selected images of pregnancy and baby cakes that are bad bad bad.

In case you were thinking of ordering us a cake or something (which I don't suggest you do-- we both are not huge cake lovers, and when we do eat cake, we're particular about it.

Anyway, here's what not to order.

Olly Olly OxenFree!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:17:00 +0000

That's the signature call of our backyard Hide and Seek, meaning-- the game is over, no more hiding, come on out. (It's also a movie featuring Katherine Hepburn, lovingly featured on the right.)

It's also what S has been yelling out at her stomach for the last few days.

Or to put it in a cooking metaphor-- Put a fork in her, she's done.

Up until now, she's had a very mild pregnancy-- no morning sickness, no bedrest, no interminable crankiness-- well, VERY LITTLE interminable crankiness, all things considered.

But these last couple of weeks she's been in a lot of pain, having a hard time moving around, has been unable to get comfortable even while sitting, and has been sleeping poorly. And the crankiness-- well, never mind. Let's just say that when she reads this, she's going to be upset. And when she stops reading it. And even after that.

Lately, she's been having the Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are basically practice contractions. Named after the handsome guy on the left, who first described the false contractions (I'm sure people were having them before, but apparently nobody ever thought it would be important to write about them. Pregnancy SHOULD be mysterious!)

S says they don't really hurt, and they are not regular, but at this point she's kind of hoping that they start to hurt, and that they are regular, so that we can get this baby out of her and into our Graco Stroller/carrier/ other cool Graco products. Her line lately has been "I now UNDERSTAND the value of scheduled C sections!"

As for me, well, there's been a lot of last minute house things that I am trying to get done, including cleaning up the baby's room, moving everything around (mostly done) and then cleaning up my office on the third floor so that there's some semblance of workspace there. And then I can try to do some work there. (As if!)

And don't forget that I'm still the model of friendliness, good humor, and bon vivant-ity that I have always been (which is to say that I'm freaked out, a little grouchy myself, and nervous nervous nervous about my upcoming starring role in the Danny Aiello re-make film known as ... DADDY! (Now in technicolor!)

I was initially very excited about being cast (and still am, honestly) but I've already signed the contract, and I didn't read it too closely. There are no residuals, poor hours, a crazy shooting schedule, bad billing, a do-it yourself craft service, and the trailer is small and also never clean. I have to get a better agent.

All kidding aside, I'm very excited, but also nervous. Which is apparently how it should be.

I keep on kidding with S that I'd like the baby in there for a couple of more months just so I could finish all my projects, but she knows I'm just kidding. (I think)

In a couple of more days, I'll be yelling "Come out Come out wherever you are!"

Ummmm... Joey... I don't think we're in Yonkers anymore...

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:22:00 +0000

Yesterday there was a Tornado warning in Yonkers. That's the same day that S's family flies into NY for the weekend (for a show, and to hang out with their very pregnant daughter one last time before she gives birth to the kicking giraffe who has been eating up all of the real estate in her belly (with any luck, he or she will be a Donald Trump- but with nicer manners and better hair)

We didn't know about the tornado warning until it was over (thank you Gothamist!-- see below for the Tornado warning), but we did notice the deadly looking clouds as we took Joey back from the vet. Yes, his once yearly shots and check up are on the day of fear, when lightning, thunder, and deadly winds are going crazy-- that's the day we decide to bundle Joey up in the cat carrier and take him out of his nice warm cozy hidey-hole and bring him into the smelly vets office.

He was so scared and upset that when we took him home and gave him treats, he didn't even eat them at first. About ten minutes after we got home, it began to hail. Hard. I guess that was the Tornado clue that we missed.

Today, all seems calm, but who knows. Perhaps this will be baby day? Or perhaps a natural disaster will strike? Or perhaps a house will fall on our mortal enemies, and we will all burst forth into song?

If any of those things end up happening, panel, you'll know about it here first next time on Yonked, Yonked, Don't Tell Me.

August 15, 2008

Hold onto Your Hats: Tornado Warning in Effect

Per the National Weather Service: "TORNADO WARNING FOR...SOUTHERN WESTCHESTER COUNTY IN SOUTHEAST NEW YORK... UNTIL 600 PM EDT...AT 520 PM EDT...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A SEVERE THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING A TORNADO NEAR YONKERS...OR NEAR EAST TREMONT...MOVING EAST AT 15 MPH. THE TORNADO WILL BE NEAR...BRONXVILLE BY 530 PM...NEW ROCHELLE AND 6 MILES SOUTH OF SCARSDALE BY 540 PM...8 MILES SOUTH OF PORT CHESTER BY 600 PM..."

Elfa-sizing and the Nuclear Knitting Proliferation Treaty

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 23:34:00 +0000

We spent this week continuing on the never-ending home improvement binge, in which my wife spends thousands of dollars on (admittedly needed) home improvement, and then says "Hey, we're nesting!" when I grumble at the (mumbledy mumbledy) expense of it all.

This week it was fixing up the master bathroom closet, which has been built since January, but empty (well, filled with a jerry rigged system of laundry stuff, but nothing permanent, and the Crafty Cat Room, because S has decided that this is the place where she will stockpile her nuclear supply of yarn for her knitting projects. I believe, although I can't be 100% positive, that she is in a knitting arms race with several people on Ravelry. And the de-proliferation treaties are not going well.

So we went to the Container Store and studied Elfa. Elfa is a very clever storage system by the Container Store, where you screw one standard to the wall very securely, and then hang all of your other standards off of it. It's clever, because you don't have to line up all of your standards and hang them on the wall by themselves. As well, the standard you do drill into the wall is secured with very heavy duty stuff that clings to drywall or wood, and therefore doesn't even have to be screwed into the studs. That's right, no stud finder for me! Which is good, because we have one, but it never seems to work properly. At least, I've drilled several times in places where it told me to drill, but never found any oil (or even any wood.)

We had california closets (who did a great job in our master walkin closet) quote us the master bath, including doors, but it was approximately 1200, and didn't quite look the way we wanted it. We were able to put the shelves up for approximately $400, and we still have to figure out a door solution, but at least its more to our liking. And we didn't have the $1200 anyway. We were too busy buying expensive dinners!

Anyway, we managed to hang the master bathroom closet in about an hour or so, and it was pretty sweaty business, but relatively easy. Stephanie than spent a lot of time emptying the thing that held the towels before (an armoire, that will now become the baby's closet/armoire)

The next day we did the Crafty Cat room (yes our cat is a crafty devil) And now he'll be living with a sewing machine!

This was actually a much harder proposition, as we had to do some creative problem-solving. The crafty cat room was at one point a long time ago the outside of the house, so it has outside of the house shingles that are not a flat wall, and elfa relies on a flat wall (or at the very least a standard vertical plane, for you gentle geometrists). And the shingle/clapboards are 6" long and vertical. But Stephanie, who was an architectural student in college, had a great idea-- we bought two 1x6 shelves that were the length of the wall, and screwed them into the shingles. Those 1x6's overlapped the shingles, creating (voila!) a plane that elfa could use. We then screwed the elfa into the 1x6 and the wall, using longer screws, and we had our elfa. And it all worked!

It was also hot and sweaty work, because the crafty cat room does not have its own air conditioning duct and because our drill bit sucked (and the screws stripped out a couple of times) But through the sheer brute and animal force of a manly man, I was able to do it.

We also had to take down the Metro shelf that was there, which meant emptying all of our stuff onto the floor of the other room (former office, soon to be baby's room) And now MOST of the stuff is up, although somethings have been displaced by the vast amounts of aforementioned radioactive yarn that we have been amassing. The Metro shelf went into the garage where one day it will be set up again, once it has been properly decontaminated of its knitting stature, and it has earned the glorious right to become a clown shelf again.

Watch out Pakistan. We are now a nuclear knitting power.

And here are the pictures to prove it.

	The beautifully arranged Master Bath Closet, complete with new hampers
	The Yarn of Nuclear proliferation.
	Some more of the everpresent stockpiles.
	The cleverly hidden 1x6
	The sewing machine table that I lovingly (and with great amount of curses) put together back in May or June.

It just got dark

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 15:33:00 +0000

So dark in fact that the streetlights went on. Which wouldn't be a problem normally, except that it's 11:30 am. In the summer.

The satellite is having problems too. CNN is in nad out.

I think we are in for a hell of a storm.

Invasion of the Baby Furniture

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 15:54:00 +0000

Our house has begun to be invaded by all manners of boxes, mostly from Graco, that contain a number of apparently VERY IMPORTANT items that we MUST HAVE NOW. Door Jumper, anyone?

[Edited by Stephanie: Full disclosure that Graco is a client; I'm already a fan of the brand but I'm sure we will totally drink the kool-aid once we start using all this great stuff. Lookee at the sweetpeace soother!]

They are sitting in a gigantic pile collecting dust. We're superstitious, see, and we don't want to even open anything up if we mustn't. Because then the Gods would not smile upon us. Unless we have to open it now.

Of course, one of the things that we HAD TO HAVE was a Dutailier. For those who are not so initiated in the ways of the Baby Whisperer (and yes, best beloved: there IS a Baby Whisperer):

The Dutailier is a rocking gliding chair that apparently only they make, and there are some other gliders, but they all suck in comparison. They are expensive, but apparently worth it, as every person that I have talked to who has had one loved theirs.

Unfortunately, the gliders are a 14 week kind of thing, so we ordered ours a couple of months ago-- but apparently 14 weeks can also be 9 weeks (what's 5 weeks among friends?)

So ours is already here. And since we had a custom color, we had to open it NOW. You can see S sitting on it over on the right, doing some shopping research in her cat pajamas.

It's pretty, it's comfortable, it will take a little getting used to (S fell out of it when she was standing up! Oh, and we haven't carved the space out for it yet. So for now, our very expensive couch is being blocked by our very expensive glider.

Our living room furniture is worth more than I am! (I'm not sure if this is a statement on the furniture, or on me. But that's grist for a different blog.)

I'm off to Coney Island to do a little performance of the Most Minuscule Show on Earth.

Only in New York (well, and Hoboken, and London, and....)

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:15:00 +0000

One of the best things about working in Manhattan is the availability of, and wide variety of, food. In fact, one of the only reasons that I would ever seriously consider moving back onto the island is to have the density of restaurants once again available to us - we're getting kinda sick of our local spots, which are predominantly Latino plus our standby middle eastern place, Ya Hala.

A year or two ago a cool new delivery service started up in Manhattan, SeamlessWeb. This has revolutionized our office lunchtimes - there are currently 265 (!!!) restaurants that deliver lunch to our office at 36th and 6th. Lunch has always been a fairly communal, collaborative effort in the office (we like to order together and often will defer to whomever has the strongest point of view on what they want to eat on any given day), but Seamless has completely blown the doors off of our lunching options.

They just opened up a bunch of new cities, including Chicago and LA; wonder if they'll deliver to my brother and the Queen of Paint? Sarah and Dad, if you're reading this, expect an invite from me shortly. I think they'll give me a coupon if you join and use it.

Shameless plug for the Flea Circus 7/27

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 19:56:00 +0000

Truthfully, I've done most of my best work by being shameless. It's when I get shameful that I have to worry!

Anyway, it's probably the last flea circus gig before the baby is born (unless something happens in the next week!) so come check it out if you can! Hope to see you there!

Click the image for a larger poster.

The Flea Circus Returns To Coney Island!

==============================

WHAT: Acme Miniature Flea Circus at the Coney Island Museum

WHERE: Coney Island Museum, 1208 Surf Ave. Brooklyn NY 11224-2816

WHEN: Sunday July 27, 2008 at 4pm.

COST: $5

MORE INFO: http://www.coneyisland.com

MORE INFO: http://www.trainedfleas.com/coneyisland.html

CALL: 718 372 5159

ELECTRONIC PRESS RELEASE: Press Release PDF (707K: must have Adobe Reader)

PUBLICITY PHOTOS: Press Images of the show

============================

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:58:00 +0000

As many of you might know, I'm not a big fan of musicals in general, but I just want to say how fabulous Dr. Horrible is.

It's a project by Joss Whedon (of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly) and I'm a big fan of two out of the three. Dr. Horrible is just a great low-tech approach to making edgy low budget television, which just happens to be made by some commercial tv quality guys. And it's a musical. And it's got Neal Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion in it. And it's cheesy. And the music is fun. And as I said, I don't even like musicals.

What I do like is seeing guys who are big in the commercial world experiment with crazy new technology just like everybody else, but bringing their big league talents to the table. This project doesn't have million dollar sets or lots of advertising behind it-- it's just got people taking risks and having fun (and who happen to have had more than a modicum of success in the field) It's kind of like watching Top Chef, but instead of some up and comers who have to take the risks, it's Jacques Pepin, Emeril, and some other guy. And it would be a cheesy musical.

If you like science fiction, comic books, love stories, musicals, or the intersection between any of them, you will probably like this.

Watch it on the website, or just buy it like I did. You'll probably want to watch it a few times. For the music.

Birthday Dinner at WD-50: You want Molecular Gastronomy with that?

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 01:00:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but we are pretty much over in the foodie camp. We like to talk about food. We like to cook food. And sadly we like to eat food.

And yes, we watch TOP CHEF.

So with Stephanie's upcoming birthday, we wanted to do something very special--especially as this was perhaps our last big splurge without a child in tow for the next 10 years or so. We ended up going to a Molecular Gastronomy Restaurant with another couple and very good friends. The restaurant was WD-50, Wiley Dufresne's restaurant at 50 Clinton St. In case you don't know, molecular gastronomy is a kind of cuisine in which science (and specifically, chemistry) is applied to food. The food is often deconstructed, surprising, and the tastes are very strong and the textures emphasized.

It was a hard reservation to get, but we planned early, and snagged it. Although our end of the bill (we went with another couple, which I'm glad we did, as it made it very fun) was just south of 500 clams, it was a wonderful and memorable meal.

We opted for the tasting menu, a 12 course meal, and after some hesitation, went for the wine pairings too (well, three of us did.) They also made some accomodations to the tasting menu for my wife and the chemist, who don't like fish. (3 of the dishes had fish in them-- this was good, because I got to taste 3 more dishes.)

Our server was VERY knowledgeable, and we had lots of questions about the methods used. (One of the friends that came with us is a health policy scientist and chemist that works for Pfiser and teaches at Columbia) As a result, we ended up getting a tour of the kitchen at the end of the meal, and met Wylie, and actually had a little conversation with him. Amazing that a celebrity chef actually works at the restaurant, but there he was!

He asked us what our favorite part was, and I think that out of the 12 dishes, I liked the eggs benedict best (fried hollandaise cube, egg yolk in a jellied ball, and a very flat piece of canadian bacon stuck in the yolk like a bacon flag of sorts. I told Wylie that I liked it because it was the taste that I was most familiar with, and so could really appreciate the de-construction and re-layering of tastes. I also told him that it reminded me of a Bertolt Brecht quote: "Great art makes the strange familiar and the familiar strange." He seemed to really like that.

We also talked to the pastry chef about the other big of the night-- the browned butter
sorbet. Is it really a sorbet if it's got dairy in it? The chef reminded us that all of the dairy is culled out in the browning process.

Over all it was quite a memorable meal, and so I guess it was worth it. I'll let you know how I feel next month when I have to fork over the dough to Amex.

Below is the meal as I remember it, along with some pictures from the website-- I regret not taking my own pictures. Also some of the descriptions may be off or wrong. I apologize-- I drank quite a bit of wine, and it was 4.5 hour meal, so a lot of it runs together.

0. APPETIZER BREAD- a cracker bread that looked like Indian Pappadam, but only had a sesame taste. It was a little weird to eat that, and have it NOT be spicy.

1. A fish dish-- can't think of what it was.

2. PIZZA PEBBLES,PEPPERONI, SHIITAKE (pictured left)
Tasted like the inside of a Combo Pretzel snack-- tiny doughy balls of pizza goodness, with pepperoni paste and fried crispy mushroom chips. Very clever, but slightly artificial tasting.

3. HAMACHI TARTARE, WAKAME, SAKE, GRAPEFRUIT-SHALLOT.
This was very tasty and well presented, but I don't quite know how to describe it.
Served in a slanting bowl, the grapefruit shallot gel was delicious.

4. KNOT FOIE (pictured right)

A foie gras paste that was somehow tied in a knot (I think they bound it with a gum of some kind), it was stippled with tiny rice crackers, and paired with a delicious sake. had little tiny dips of raisin puree and kim chee puree.

5. EGGS BENEDICT (pictured left)
Gel of yolk with a little flag of bacon in the yolk, and a cube of fried hollandaise. The hollandaise was molten on the inside, but hard on the outside. There was a trail of black salt and a condiment paste-- not sure what it was. But it tasted great!

6. CRAB TAIL, SOYBEAN NOODLES, CINNAMON DASHI
The soybean noodle was one long noodle, and the crab tail was very tasty. The cinammon was also right on the money. Served in a consomme of some kind.

7. CHICKEN LIVER SPAETZLE, PINE NEEDLE, RADISH, COCA NIB
The spaetzle were somehow fried, and the pine needle was emulsified and both the emulsification and the cocoa nibs were painted on the bowl, it was very very good.

8. BEEF TONGUE, CHERRY-MISO, FRIED QUINOA, PALM SEEDS
This was perhaps the most complex dish, with a lot of flavors going around all at once. The palm seeds were kind of sour steeped in Angostura bitters, the quinoa was crunchy, and the tongue was very thinly sliced. Cherry Miso was beautifully smeared as a paste on the plate.

9. YOGURT, OLIVE OIL JAM, RHUBARB
The yogurt was a soft solid, in a long very white tuille made of olive oil The olive oil jam was delicious, and the rhubarb came as a strand.

10. JASMINE CUSTARD, BLACK TEA, BANANA (pictured left)
The jasmine custard was delicious -- black tea powder on the plate and a banana sorbet with a banana slice caramelized hiding beneath. Came with a milk foam.

11. TOASTED COCONUT CAKE, CAROB, SMOKED CASHEW, BROWN BUTTER SORBET. (pictured right)
This was just plain delicious, esp. the brown butter sorbet, which was so caramelly.

12. YUZU ICE CREAM- MARCONA ALMOND.
Came with an amazing chocolate pouch-- the yuzu ice cream was nitrogen frozen, and drizzled with almond pebbles.

We had three substitutions for the people who didn't eat fish.

13. BONE MARROW, CHESTNUTS, TONBURI, PICKLED HONSHEMEJI (pictured left)
The bone marrow tasted like a cornmeal cake with the stuff on top of it. Delicious until you remembered what you were eating.

14. CORNED DUCK, RYE CRISP, PURPLE MUSTARD, HORSERADISH CREAM (pictured right)
This was like corned beef, but somehow it was duck. Delicious.

And a third thing that I don't quite know what it was-- it was some kind of vegetable dumpling-- not very memorable.

We also had a slice of white chocolate cake with tamarind caramel on the inside served with a candle for my wife's birthday.

Once again-- a memorable meal, delicious, and probably not something we can afford to do again soon. We're saving for diapers. And college.

Room... with a sort of view

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:07:00 +0000

While we can't actually see the river from our house (well we can during the winter, if we get up on the third floor, lean out the window, and pray for a vision) but it turns out that we actually do have a pretty good view.

From our bedroom window and from the third floor window, we can see about 3/4 of the fireworks display (the bottom half is cut off by a 3 family house in the distance.)

This is the first time we've been in our house during a fireworks display.

We are at the bottom of a gently rising hill, so our view is really better than expected!

And we can definitely hear them, along with the myriads of illegal fireworks being shot off by our friendly neighbors.....

Nesting.... nesting.. Nest..Ing.

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:57:00 +0000

We haven't been posting much, mostly because we've been busy nesting.

That's the technical term for pregnant mothers who start taking on home improvement projects in their last trimester, in a vain attempt to be as busy as possible and to not think about their heart burn and the increasingly difficult time they have getting out of bed. (I have been sworn to say no more on the subject... but let us say there is a possibility of a videotape of the spectacle at some point. After all, a guy has to have some leverage!)

Anyway, not to be indelicate, but we've been nesting like the proverbial rabbits. In the past four weeks I have put together from kits a Crate and Barrel Hutch, a Crate and Barrel Buffet, an Ikea cabinet, a Joann Fabrics sewing table, an Ikea desk with four telescoping legs, 6 or 7 Ikea book shelf units, an Ikea sofa desk, and probably some other stuff that I've simply forgotten about. Some of these things I've even put together twice! (I got it wrong the first time!)

All in all, best directions go HANDS DOWN to Ikea, whose illustrations are always very clear. Sometimes they don't make sense, or are in the wrong order, but once I've put something together, and have three left over parts, I usually can look at the drawing and figure out what I messed up. Worst go to Joann's, whose illustrations missed several key points, and it wasn't until I re-assembled the piece a second time did it become clear what goes where-- and then I had to re-jigger it so that the little pneumatic gizmo had enough clearance on all sides to go up and down.

I've also had to lug and lug and lug this stuff out of the car, up the stairs, and in the case of the ikea book cases all the way up to the third floor. Not easy! And a lot of this stuff said "must be assembled by two people" and of course that means two people that can lift stuff, not one pregnant person who definitely should not be lifting heavy objects. Suffice to say that Stephanie helped as much as she could, and I did a little engineering to allow the very heavy awkward objects to be placed on top of one another (specifically the hutch on top of the buffet-- the hutch weighed 120 lbs, the buffet 140 lbs, and I had to put them into place together. Aside from the windows being slightly mishung-- it looks very good.

Today I've spent most of the day trying to clean out the second floor office (soon to be the nursery) and move that stuff up to the third floor. I've been up and down the stairs probably 20 times today. (The gym's not open today, anyway.) I've moved a whole set of bookcases down to the floor level to either be free-cycled, or more likely put in the garage for a rainy day.

Now it's hamburger time, followed by a potential fireworks show

Ugly Smell Revealed!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 10:58:00 +0000

So for the last week or so, we've been smelling an ugly smell in our kitchen-- it smelled alternatively like fish or ammonia. We searched everywhere, but couldn't seem to find it. We sprayed Oust, we made herbal teas, we brewed coffee, we ate smelly cheeses, we kept the window open, we sacrificed a goat to the gods-- nothing seemed to get the smell out.

We had started to think that maybe our housekeeper had cooked some fish in our oven, and that some residue or something had gotten stuck in the oven, or in between the oven, or beneath the oven. Or perhaps a dead bird had somehow gotten stuck in the ...

Anyway, we had ALL kinds of crazy theories.

I'm happy to report that none of those were the issue at hand-- it turned out that the smell turned out to be a year old pumpkin-- a pumpkin that had during thanksgiving or something oh so long ago, been put on the top of the oven cabinet and then been left there to slowly, ever so slowly decay. It took a good 6-8 months for this thing to start really smelling up the joint, and to say that it was squishy was to be kind. It was awful.

You hear a lot about rotten pumpkins (esp. around Thanksgiving), but this was my first time up personal with one. A little bit goes A LONG WAY, believe me.

You'll never guess who was given the unenviable task of cleaning up this squishy former pumpkin mess-- that is right, your humble narrator.

This is not a picture of our pumpkin, but just a sample of the awfulness.

April in Paris

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie) — Mon, 26 May 2008 22:36:00 +0000

Isn't that the name of a song? Or a movie? It also happens to be the name of our honeymoon, a quick 4 1/2 day trip to the City of Light.

We left on Monday evening after the wedding, and let me tell you, I've never been so unprepared for an overseas trip. I usually have a packing list weeks in advance and am packed at least a few days before. As it was, with the wedding and my office move, we packed on Monday afternoon (after the Times video person left, which threw a fun, but time-consuming, wrench into our packing plans), zipped the suitcases and flew out the door to drive to JFK. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have very few clothes that fit and so my choices were dramatically limited anyway, and we both felt that we had brought exactly the right stuff.

Thank goodness that was the case, as Paris was WAY expensive and we were reluctant to buy anything, let alone something that we already had at home. The dollar is totally in the dumps and we were extremely frugal, with the majority of our spending going to food. We took the Metro everywhere - we bought two week-long unlimited Cartes Orange for about $28 each, but in an uncharacteristic move I lost mine the first day (I blame the pregnancy) so we had to buy another one. Adam won't let me live that down anytime soon.

I think I was a total trooper on this trip, considering that I was 20-21 weeks pregnant and we were both recovering from the weeklong wedding festivities. We walked about 10-12 hours a day (including strolling around museums), went up and down dozens if not a hundred sets of subway stairs, and only slept late/lazed about one morning. Due to all the walking/standing, I had some pain in my abdomen (quite common, round ligament pain - fortunately, thanks to my sister-in-law Andrea, I knew what it was before we got there and it started), and some sciatica in my left lower back - but neither really held me back until Saturday, when they both happened simultaneously. At that point I was pretty happy to be going home on Sunday.

Some of the highlights of the trip: Of course the city itself, which always plays a starring role. It's just such an accessible city, totally walkable and so beautifully arranged with the Seine and the arrondissements each with their own character and features. We spent a lot of time in the area around the Pompidou Center, in and out of the edges of the Marais district for museums, eating, and shopping.

We ate two really great meals (and lots of better-than-usual-because-we-were-eating-in-Paris bistro meals): one night at Le Relais de Venise, where I had been once 13-15 years before - this steak-frites-only restaurant was as good as I'd remembered. If you get to Paris, you must go. The other really memorable meal was at Pain, Vin, Fromage (thanks, Chocolate and Zucchini) in the Marais district, where we had a hearty meal of raclette (melted cheese eaten with charcuterie, cornichons and boiled potatoes) - Adam had never had it and I'd never eaten it in a restaurant, and we really enjoyed it. We would absolutely have liked to have had more cool restaurant experiences but man, when you can't even sit down at a table for less than $50 (and only for just lunch, nevermind dinner), it's very hard to justify fancy meals, especially after having just paid for a wedding. We did eat a lot of nutella crepes on the street, as well as pain au chocolate plus wonderful French yogurt every morning for a relatively cheap but entirely satisfying breakfast.

We stayed in the Latin Quarter at a lovely little budget hotel that we can highly recommend, the Acte V; though the rooms were Manhattan-small (if not smaller), the service was great and there is a metro station 1/2 block away (though we quickly learned that that station doesn't have an escalator, so we went into the metro there, but usually came out 2 blocks away that the station with the up escalator ;-) )

We opted not to hit every tourist attraction on our list (after all, we only had 4 1/2 days) and so we saw the highlights of the Louvre, most of the Pompidou, Notre Dame, and after freezing our asses waiting in line in the windswept plaza under the structure, we went up to the 2nd level of the Eiffel Tower. We also did a great impromptu walking tour of the city on the first afternoon - from the Latin Quarter up to Notre Dame, past the Hotel de Ville, across the Pompidou plaza, to the Louvre and Pyramid plaza, over the Pont Neuf, and through Saint Germain - until we collapsed at what turned out to be a Brussels-themed chain restaurant for moules frites and beef stew. One day we spent at Disneyland Paris (more on that on a separate post - hold your groans for now), and on Saturday, our last day, we shopped a little bit together in the morning (including an amazing yarn store, La Droguerie, where I bought a beautiful book and some lovely yarn, not terribly expensive), and in the afternoon Adam went to a circus tradeshow (amazingly, yes, there was a circus tradeshow in Paris the same weekend we were there, he can elaborate on it) and I shopped a bit more. In the end, except for a few small gifts for other people and the yarn, we really didn't buy very much because of the exchange rate - all we've got in the house to show for our travels is a cow milk pitcher from the Bon Marche and a couple of wooden spoons from E.Dehillerin.

Funny that Adam, almost book-fluent in French, had great difficulty speaking French in Paris. For the first time ever since I've known him, he was shy! and felt he was making a lot of mistakes. So with my one year of high school French I forged ahead a lot of the time (I certainly didn't have any internal standard to hold myself against), and it wasn't until the last day or so that Adam started to reach out in French a bit more. But for the most part everyone spoke English, so even if we spoke French to them they answered in English. Ah well, c'est la vie!

All in all, a wonderful trip - just the right length, distance from home, and level of excitement/exertion for our circumstance. I'm sure Paris will be top of our list of destinations for future travels.

Mowing the fershlugginer lawn

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:15:00 +0000

You would think that mowing our lawn would be an easy maneuver. After all, we don't have very much of it, it's relatively compact, and how damned hard can mowing the lawn be, anyway?

Well, to paraphrase my grandmother, "a landscaper, you're not." I spent a good hour doing lawn stuff this morning-- mowing the over grown grass with the mower, picking up garbage that is unceremoniously dumped in front of our house by young hooligans, using the weed-whacker to get those hard to get places. And while it looks noticeably neater than it did (well, not neater-- but at least better trimmed) I was exhausted by it, and if I had paid for the job, I would have probably had to fire myself. There's still some uneven-ness in the grass, there's still some garbage on the ground-- and there's still plenty of weeds around.

People like to do this? They choose to do this? Feh.

I think I'd like to just pave the whole thing-- except, to paraphrase my grandmother: "A cement-man you're not."

mmmmm.... bacon!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:27:00 +0000

I am such a big fan of XKCD that I had to post this-- the comics there are just my style (and in this case, taste!)

Highly recommend checking out the rest of their site...

Yonkers Business Week May 3-9

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:23:00 +0000

It's Yonkers Business Week this upcoming week, and I'm hoping to attend a few of the FREE seminars this week.

The most interesting to me is the FREE ride on the Ferry on Friday, which I missed the last time they were giving them out.

Their schedule was not online, so I put it up at my other YONKERS blog: http://www.yonkersarts.blogspot.com
(in case you didn't know, I created that as a way of making connections and finding out what's going on in the arts in Yonkers. It now serves primarily as a resource, although it's a good place to store interesting info about events and such!)

Yonkers Meeting April 29

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 13:05:00 +0000

I've been wondering what's been going on with the ball-park project-- This is supposed to happen about 7 blocks from our house!

This from the Westchester Business Journal

The $1.4 billion redevelopment project in downtown Yonkers proposed by Struever Fidelco Cappelli (SFC) L.L.C. will be the focus of a Yonkers City Council public hearing at 6:30 p.m. April 29 in the council chambers at City Hall.

The projected three-year construction includes River Park Center, a retail shopping, entertainment and parking complex topped by a 6,500-seat minor league baseball stadium and two 50-story apartment towers; Palisades Point, a mixed-use waterfront development with two 25-story apartment towers, and Cacace Center, a commercial office, hotel and fire department complex.

The public will have two weeks after the hearing to submit written comments to the council. A second public hearing will be at 7 p.m. May 13 at Roosevelt High School.

Written comments may be sent to: Rocky Richard, Chief of Staff, Office of the Council President, 40 S. Broadway, Room 403, Yonkers, NY 10701. They can be sent to her by e-mail at rocky.richard@yonkersNY.gov.

SFC officials have said they hope to begin construction this year.

New Niece Out (but not about!)

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:01:00 +0000

And the simchas abound! My brother's wife Andrea had her baby about 3 weeks earlyy,

Baby is doing fine and so is the mother-- we're going off to see her tonight.

Hana Maria Gertsacov (which anagrams out to Manages Caviar Torahs-- what do you think, an upscale religious restauranteur?)

5lbs, 9oz, 19 inches

Pictures coming soon!

UPDATE:

A couple of pictures-- we didn't get any with Stephanie-- next time!

Our 15 minutes are just about up...

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:52:00 +0000

Well, the wedding was fantastic, surprisingly a lot of fun, and as everybody predicted (but I didn't believe) it was over WAY too fast. Still, even though I had a lot of fun, I don't think I'll be doing it again. Once is enough for me! :o)

Amazingly, the NYT came and covered the wedding, and produced a little video and everything! We were picked as the VOWS column-- they only do one a week, and we were it. Pretty exciting-- thank God Madonna didn't get married this week-- we would have been bumped for sure!

You can view it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/13/fashion/weddings/13vows.html

There's about a 4 minute video as well that's pretty great...

And not only were we featured in the NY Times, but the Riverdale Press also picked up our wedding announcement! That's the local Riverdale paper.

You can see that one here:
http://www.riverdalepress.com/full.php?sid=3979&current_edition=2008-04-10

Not sure how long that will be around for-- I think at a certain point they take them off the internet....

So grab them while you can!

NY TIMES

Stephanie Schwab and Adam Gertsacov

Annie Tritt for The New York Times

YONKERS, APRIL 5 Friends and family members performed for the couple.

How does a brainy vice president of a marketing agency in Manhattan end up marrying a graduate of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College? Blame the Internet.')By DOUGLAS MARTIN

Published: April 13, 2008

MIDGE and Madge were not invited to the wedding in Yonkers on April 5. Stephanie Schwab, the bride, claimed to be jealous of those extraordinarily petite showgirls who had traveled the globe with her betrothed.

“He coos at them, and speaks to them in very, very soft tones,” she said.

So Adam Gertsacov, 43, agreed to leave his famous fleas at home, along with his velvet top hat and red-white-and-green shoes. His clown nose was allowed only for prewedding photos, but Ms. Schwab joyfully wore one, too. They succeeded admirably in maneuvering into an ardent kiss beneath the bright red snouts.

Marrying a clown is no run-of-the-mill thing. Mr. Gertsacov is the owner of the Acme Miniature Flea Circus. His stars, Midge and Madge, each dwarfed by the period at the end of this sentence, are said to perform feats like pulling chariots or walking a high wire.

Audiences pretty much have to take Mr. Gertsacov’s word for all this. He uses a magnifying glass to provide the play-by-play, and only the props are visible. So how did Ms. Schwab, 40, a brainy vice president of Converseon, a marketing agency in Manhattan, someone who holds an M.B.A. from the University of Illinois, end up marrying a graduate of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College who sometimes performs as a giant bumblebee?

Blame the Internet. In 2004, each was prowling a dating site. Mr. Gertsacov, of Rhode Island, traveled continuously and was open to meeting somebody nice from anywhere. Ms. Schwab, of New York, emphatically did not want another long-distance relationship.

And then there were the photos Mr. Gertsacov displayed of himself. One was a graphic blowup of an eye. She wondered if the possible artiness outweighed the obvious goofiness.

She consented to a phone call, and soon they were having “these wonderful conversations late into the night.” Over coffee in New York they “instantly connected,” she said. Soon, he was in New York almost every weekend.

He handled the inevitable career questions gradually. He first said he was a performing artist; then a creator of original comic shows; and, finally, someone who presented “popular theatrical traditions.” Only when she seemed “firmly on the hook,” he said, did he disclose the flea-bitten fabric of those heralded traditions.

She liked his intelligence and creativity, and his apparent ability to profit from his passions. “He wasn’t a lawyer, he wasn’t a consultant; it was refreshing,” she said.

Vaudeville, she thought, was exactly the kind of thing her parents would get a kick out of. And at the wedding, her father, Steven Schwab of Chicago, an owner of a business there that makes baking products for children, exuded, “There will be humor in their life forever.”

Mr. Gertsacov said: “I think she may have presented herself as more bohemian than she actually is. Which is O.K. I’m bohemian enough for both of us.”

Ms. Schwab, who had two previous marriages, once used $120,000 of her own money to start a company called Erotigo, to bring pornography to hand-held computers. It was featured in BusinessWeek, but after Sept. 11 she failed to attract the investors she needed. “It was a wild ride, really fun,” she said.

Mr. Gertsacov, who graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and earned a master’s in theater and communications from Rhode Island College, claims he is the most educated clown in America — “barring certain elected officials.”

They bought a house in Yonkers two and a half years ago, became active in a synagogue and began to talk around the topic of marriage. Talk became plans five months ago, when Ms. Schwab became pregnant. Mr. Gertsacov’s mother, Karel, was unconscious and near death last December when he told her that he was engaged. “Her eyes fluttered,” he said, adding that her death soon afterward contributed to him wanting a sense of familial continuity.

The magic came together at the Roosevelt Ballroom in Yonkers, a classically inspired hall visited by both Presidents Roosevelt. The wedding invitation — in orange, a color with which Mr. Gertsacov is obsessed — announced the occasion as “A colossal combination that is sure to amaze & delight for generations to come.”

The bride was radiant in a gown that had been twice altered to meet the exigencies of pregnancy. The bridegroom only once upstaged their rabbi, Jason Nevarez. Mr. Gertsacov could not help himself from doing an elaborate pantomime with his prayer shawl. Wedding rings were extracted from a Cracker Jack box.

At the reception guests shared their talents, from juggling to rope tricks to what seemed deliberately lame humor. There was a life-size dog puppet who scratched the audience’s fancy with bon mots about fleas.

Then, as a klezmer combo shifted into high, the couple glided across the shimmering dance floor. A singer crooned the lovely, inevitable lyrics of Cole Porter:

“Birds do it, bees do it,

Even educated fleas do it.

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.”

--------

RIVERDALE PRESS

Gertsacov and Schwab tie the knot in Yonkers

Stephanie Schwab and Adam Gertsacov, both formerly of Riverdale, were married on Saturday at the Roosevelt Ballroom in Yonkers. Rabbi Jason Nevarez officiated with Willard Knox, of Congregation Tehillah, taking part in the ceremony.

The couple met online on the Jewish dating site JDate in 2004 and became engaged in January.

The bridge, 40, is keeping her name. She is vice president of Converseon, a marketing agency in Manhattan, specializing in Internet marketing and social media. She graduated from the University of Washington and received her MBA from the University of Illinois at Chicago.

Ms. Schwab is the daughter of Steven Schwab of Chicago and Eva Shore of West Palm Beach, Fla. Her father is the president of Sassafras Enterprises in Chicago, a children's products company. Her mother is a substitute teacher in West Palm Beach. The bride is a stepdaughter of Nancy Schwab.

The groom, 43, is an actor, producer and professional clown. He writes and performs one-man shows and is best known as the impresario of the Acme Miniature Circus, an authentic Victorian flea circus. Mr. Gertsacov holds the honorary position of Clown Laureate of Greenbelt, Md. and is also the director of Bright Night Providence, the New Years' Eve Festival of Providence, R.I.

Mr. Gertsacov graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and received his master's degree in theater and communications from Rhode Island College and the Trinity Rep Conservatory in Providence. Mr. Gertsacov is also a graduate of Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Clown College, the Dell'Arte School of Physical Theatre, and has apprenticed and studied with a number of theatrical luminaries, including Dario Fo, Ctibor Turba and master clown Bill Irwin.

Mr. Gertsacov is the eldest son of the late Alan and Karel Gertsacov of Narragansett, R.I. Ms. Gertsacov was a retired art school teacher and founder of the Arts In Academics Fund at the Rhode Island Foundation, a fund dedicated to combining arts and academics within the public school curriculum. Mr. Gertsacov was owner of Cove Metal Company, a textile machinery company.

The couple will live in their home in Yonkers after a brief honeymoon in Paris, France.

Major House Props-- I hung the picture myself!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:59:00 +0000

We've got a large-scale painting of a clown bee-- When I say large scale, I mean it's the size of a large door (80" tall x 32" wide) -- in fact, it was painted on a hollow door. In the interest of full disclosure, let me say that it is a painting of ME as a clown bee.

This is a picture of the painting (it's actually too large for me to take a picture of it in one swoop, so I did it in four and stitched it together-- which explains the weird banding) It normally looks nicer than that.

THE BACKSTORY: In 1995 I was involved in a circus that had all of the acts as insects-- in it, my main role was as the clown bee. My opening entree was the ringmaster of the circus planting a sunflower, which grew 20 feet in the air. I then come out as the clown bee, and through a running series of misadventures, try to fly up to the flower. Unfortunately, I am not able to fly, and thus the comedy ensues-- at the end of the show, the stage hands, who are all dressed as ants, working together, are able to pull me up in the air and get the flower.

An ex-girlfriend of mine painted this door sized painting as a gift, and it's been greeting people in my loft ever since. And it's a really cool great painting (I don't care what ANYONE says!) I've gotten lots of great comments about it, even though it's not the most flattering portrait of me or anything.

It's been sitting at the head of the dining room table for the last two years, because I didn't want to consign it to the garage, but didn't have the nerve or the gumption to hang it in the only place in the house where it made sense to hang it-- our staircase.

The staircase wall goes up two stories, and is not readily accessible to anything. (IE, it's hard to get to) Plus, although it's a hollow door, it's still a door you know. I didn't want it to fall down on my head. And furthermore, I was thwarted by ennui. It was doing fine where it was. No need to move it.

Well finally, with the wedding coming up, Stephanie put her foot down. I had to either hang it up or put it in the garage. She suggested I get our neighbor Jose to help me, but I didn't want to do that for various reasons. (Mostly having to do with the manly thought that I could do it myself)

Well, it turned out I was right. Hanging it up involved measuring the wall, figuring out where to hammer in the two fifty pound picture hangers to hold it up (it weighs less than 20 lbs, but I'd rather be sure), figuring out where to screw in the hooks on the back of the painting to hold it up (and match up with the hammered areas), taking out the Little Giant ladder I bought and figuring out how to make it as tall as possible, and then ascending it, on the stairs, fearful of falling, and then carefully hooking the hooks on the door to the doors on the wall by holding the side of it over the open staircase.

THE PAINTING ON THE WALL!

I'm happy to say that it all worked out-- the painting is up, the ladder is back in the garage and I didn't fall down, break any bones, lights, or other important attributes of either myself or the house.

And the painting is pretty damned level! This is the level at the bottom of the painting!