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I’ll add to the photo baby madness

It’s true, we haven’t been posting as much as we should– and facebook is taking its toll, as well as a certain bear to remain nameless. I’ve done my small part, but it gets hard to maintain a personal blog, or a home blog, because so much of what you are thinking about is embroiled in everyday life, and after you’ve solved those problems in real life, do you really want to relive them by writing them down?

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

People are always asking me “So how is it to be a dad?”

Overall, I’d have to say, it’s great. The fears I had of fatherhood, mostly irrational (not loving the baby, a large fear of poop, fear that I would abandon the family as my paternal grandfather did to my grandmother, my dad, and his two siblings in 1938) are no longer fears at all (although I’m not particularly fond of the poop mind you) I recognize those now as irrational. I have a whole new set of irrational fears, of course (which I’d prefer not to share at the present time)

One of the downsides is that I’m not nearly as productive as I’d like to be from a small business/clown/theatrical producer point of view, now that I’m a part-time stay at home dad. (Truth be told, I wasn’t all that efficient with my time when I didn’t have this 5-7 hours a day unpaid parenting gig– and it may be hard to imagine, but productivity has gone down! On the plus side, procrastination numbers have held steady!)

But as a number of people told me when I started on this journey– even though it’s hard and you’ll want to complain about it and it will drive you insane and nuts and wear you down more than it seems possible, it’s still something you won’t ever want to trade.

So I get less gigs, so be it.

He’s very funny, and has a great sense of humor, and sometimes I just laugh and smile for no reason when I see him.

I suppose there’s a reason, actually; he is my son, and I love him to pieces!

His laugh is really infectious– here he is laughing from being tickled– but sometimes he just laughs without being tickled. Sometimes it’s something I do (he loves the doubletake– and it’s amazing how much my clown stuff works even at his young age)

Sometimes he laughs for no reason whatsoever! And that is a also a real pleasure.

I’m thinking about adding his laugh as my ringtone….